Once C++ walks into a bar and sees C.
C is drunk, falling on the floor, spitting and swearing.
How classless! -says C++
Why do Front-End Developers eat lunch alone?
Because, they don't know how to join tables.
I am declaring a war. var war;
Knock knock
Unsynchronized block
Who's there?
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very... long... pause...
“Java.”
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
walks UDP package into bar A.
I would tell you a joke about UDP, but I don't know if you will get it.
Either way, I don't care.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.
#pisa-tower {
font-style: italic;
}
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?” The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
1/3 of US bandwidth is used by Netflix.
the rest is used by rm -rf node_modules && npm install
Debugging: Being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.
Behind every good program is a frustrated programmer.
Being a Programmer and watching someone HACK a computer on a TV show is like a nurse and watching someone in the movie take blood with a carrot.
Programmer 1: We have a problem! Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx! Programmer 1: Now we have two problems.
My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.
Trying to fix the problem I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when I tried to fix the problems I created when there was a problem
A programmer’s wife asks: “Would you go to the shop and pick up a loaf of bread? And if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 loaves of bread.
“They had eggs.”
Conversation between layman and developer
- layman: Hey! What's your address
- developer: 173.168.15.10
- layman: No man. Your local address
- developer: 127.0.0.1
- layman: I mean your physical address
- developer: 29.01.38.62.31.58
A journalist asks a programmer
what makes the code bad ?
NO COMMENT
👦 : I like you, do you want to be my GF?
👧 : ... (30 seconds)
👦 : Why are you quiet?
👧 : ... (30 seconds). "504 Gateway Timeout"
"I know a guy who knows a guy... who knows another guy"
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”
What do the new MacBook and a black hole have in common?
There's no Escape!
One man's constant is another man's variable
Android: where ProgressBars go around in circles and Spinners don’t spin
I showed my 12 year son aa floppy disk.... He said "ohh nice!! You have 3-D printed the save icon."
All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors
"Don't call me, I'll callback you. I promise!"
"How did your dog eat your coding assignment?" It took him a couple bytes
I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.
Python and PHP.
One of these two is one of the most popular choices of backend programming. The other one is PHP.
Dad: So what do you want to do when you grow up?
Kid: Engineering
Dad: Oh great, so you want to become an engineer?
Kid: No, I want 4 more years to decide what I want to do
A successful programmer is a PRO in GRAMMAR!
A journalist asked a programmer:-what makes code bad?
Programmer:- No comment
Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt, he goes bug killing.
Chuck Norris don’t need passwords to access your system, he simply types * and system gives him access.
Ford is creating a line of electric cars that use Tesla parts and software. They're calling it Edison.
I see this person every day who is huge by the way and yet everybody ignores that person. Do you wanna know who?
node underscore modules
Wrong middle name anyways!
{ "devjoke":"people with name Jason might have felt invalid once JSON came into picture" }
this.engaged = true
Because they do not Node how to Express themselves.
You console it.
It didn't get the context.
Because she didn't get arrays
Inheritance.
Because they have constant arguments.
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
Foo Bar
A URLogist
He keeps dropping the database
It had too many
Because they use a strongly typed language.
He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Because it has Hooks 😂.
For a while
FORK YOU!
Guardians of the Galaxy
Because it's above C-level
They are both useless when you open windows
Answer: A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.
Answer: Because they can't C# !
Answer: They stop calling each other.
Answer: 1
Answer: None – It’s a hardware problem
Answer: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25
No, they just haven't had a gig yet.
He used up all of his cache.
(.images/webjava.jpg)
There are 10 types of people in the world. The ones who understand binary; the ones who don’t.