diff --git a/Dockerfile.worker b/Dockerfile.worker
index 75e295f..0447c04 100644
--- a/Dockerfile.worker
+++ b/Dockerfile.worker
@@ -207,6 +207,11 @@ RUN \
     ln -s /opt/dump_ciede2000 /home/${APP_USER}/awcy_temp/dump_ciede2000 && \
     ln -s /opt/dav1d /home/${APP_USER}/awcy_temp/dav1d
 
+# substitute our modded perf script that's more Docker-friendly when the
+# host isn't a Debian/Ubuntu machine
+ADD perf /usr/bin/perf
+RUN chmod ag+x /usr/bin/perf
+
 # set entrypoint
 ADD etc/entrypoint.worker /etc/entrypoint.worker
 ENTRYPOINT [ "/etc/entrypoint.worker" ]
diff --git a/perf b/perf
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..6d28e04
--- /dev/null
+++ b/perf
@@ -0,0 +1,86 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+full_version=`uname -r`
+
+#Edited/modified from Debian perf wrapper, which fails badly in a
+#Docker environment with mismatched host/container distros.  We need
+#to run properly on top of RH style hosts, and the perf interfaces we
+#need will translate just fine to nearby generic linux-tool versions.
+#Be permissive in matching.
+
+# First check for a fully qualified version.
+this="/usr/lib/linux-tools/$full_version/`basename $0`"
+if [ -f "$this" ]; then
+	exec "$this" "$@"
+fi
+
+# Next, try Removing flavour from version i.e. generic or server.
+flavour_abi=${full_version#*-}
+flavour=${flavour_abi#*-}
+version=${full_version%-$flavour}
+this="$0_$version"
+if [ -f "$this" ]; then
+	exec "$this" "$@"
+fi
+
+# Next, look for generic near matches
+minor_plus=${full_version#*.}
+subminor_plus=${minor_plus#*.}
+flavor_plus=${subminor_plus#*[. -]}
+majorminor=${full_version%.$subminor_plus}
+majorminorsub=${full_version%[. -]$flavor_plus}
+
+# Check for generic version(s) matching major/minor/sub
+this=( /usr/lib/linux-tools/$majorminorsub*generic/`basename $0` )
+if [ -f "$this" ]; then
+	exec "$this" "$@"
+fi
+
+## Check for generic version(s) matching major/minor
+this=( /usr/lib/linux-tools/$majorminor*generic/`basename $0` )
+if [ -f "$this" ]; then
+	exec "$this" "$@"
+fi
+
+# back to your regularly scheduled Debian wrapper
+# Before saucy kernels we had no flavour linkage.
+if dpkg --compare-versions "$version" lt "3.11.0"; then
+	flavour=''
+else
+	flavour="-$flavour"
+fi
+# Hint at the cloud tools if they exist (trusty and later)
+if dpkg --compare-versions "$version" ge "3.13.0"; then
+	cld=""
+else
+	cld=":"
+fi
+# Work out if this is an LTS backport or not.
+codename=`lsb_release -cs`
+case "$codename" in
+precise)	base='3.2.0-9999' ;;
+trusty)		base='3.13.0-9999' ;;
+*)		base='' ;;
+esac
+std=""
+lts=":"
+if [ "$base" != "" ]; then
+	if dpkg --compare-versions "$version" gt "$base"; then
+		std=":"
+		lts=""
+	fi
+fi
+
+# Give them a hint as to what to install.
+		echo "WARNING: `basename $0` not found for kernel $version" >&2
+		echo "" >&2
+		echo "  You may need to install the following packages for this specific kernel:" >&2
+		echo "    linux-tools-$version$flavour" >&2
+$cld		echo "    linux-cloud-tools-$version$flavour" >&2
+		echo "" >&2
+		echo "  You may also want to install one of the following packages to keep up to date:" >&2
+$std		echo "    linux-tools$flavour" >&2
+$std $cld	echo "    linux-cloud-tools$flavour" >&2
+$lts		echo "    linux-tools$flavour-lts-<series>" >&2
+$lts $cld	echo "    linux-cloud-tools$flavour-lts-<series>" >&2
+
+exit 2