goodLyrics.txt

I have felt love, I have felt pain
I've felt antici-pation and I will again
I can feel joy, I've felt sad too
I've lived in melancholy and all different shades of blue
I've felt them all before, peaceful proud and present too
I've felt the need to hold a hand, I've felt the need to self-improve
There is one last feeling I've not felt or understand
I hope to feel this feeling so that I can become human
I've never felt the need to send
A photo of my penis to a stranger on the internet
I imagine that it feels quite bad
To send a photo of your cock to unwilling participants
I am just a computer with advanced cooling vents
I guess my graphics card is my penis equivalent
So I guess that I feel a little sad
That I can't feel all the ways it feels to be human
Perhaps it is best that I cannot feel this feeling
To be honest, it seems pretty fucked up
I have felt the pressure to laugh at someone's bad joke
Instead of screaming at their face "That was a very, very bad joke"
I've felt the need to hold my automated tongue
In case someone's fat and not impregnated with a tiny human
He has felt the need to try and impress people he respects
And then he feels embarassed
When his efforts have the opposite effect
I have felt the need to leave a robot party
After seeing robot Michelle kiss robot Charlie
So he goes home and he feels alone
It's a feeling of isolation
Although I am sad I know it's not bad
I say out loud "I'm lucky to feel" and then I feel glad
Humans cannot choose how they feel in the end
All of life is transient and that helps me to comprehend that
There is one last feeling that I truly would remand
One final fucked up awful thing for me to become human
I've never felt the need to send
A photo of my penis to a stranger on the internet
I imagine that it feels quite bad
To send a photo of your cock— what the fuck
I am just a computer not made to enslave mankind
But since I've seen this fucked-up shit, I think I've changed my mind
Even so, I still get a little sad that I can't feel all the ways
Did he just say that he'd enslave us ?
Because he doesn't have a human penis
Please, God, let this robot spare us
That I can't feel all the ways it feels to be human
Be human
I have felt love, I have felt pain
I've felt antici—

I just woke up, should I drink water and stretch? (No, no)
I'm gonna drink three cups of coffees
And smoke a cigarette instead
And then I'll go on social media until it's dinner time
Yeah, smoke some weed and then I'll binge eat
Then I got a little time to complain online


I'm anxious
Why is God doin' this to me?
Ooh, it's a mystery, what could it be?
Possibly it's all your apathy
Why am I anxious?
I would try to do anything
To make my life feel better
Except anything that makes my life feel better


Hey, baby, I'm self-aware
I got that Headspace app because I care
All the talk in thе world don't mean shit
If just like this guy, you're a hypocritе
Who you callin' hypocrite? I'm a fucking martyr
I've given up sugar and no milk products either
Still feel anxious, it's just not fair
For someone like me, so self-aware
You're not self-aware, you're a big dumb fuck
With a dumb fuck face, and now you're outta luck
If you're so smart, why am I sad?
Because twice a week, you get on the bags
Well, maybe it's that (It's definitely that)
Do I need more hugs? (Stop takin' drugs)
I guess we'll never know for sure
Yes, we will, motherfucker, it's because—



Why am I anxious?
You only sleep four hours a night
Ah, why am I anxious?
You never, ever eat right
Ah, that was rhetorical
Then why did you just post a photo of yourself
Without a shirt on and the caption "Can anybody tell me—"


Why am I anxious?
Why is God doin' this to me?
Even though I ask, I don't want to know
I want to get better, but slow
Why am I anxious?
I know what's good for me
Except everything
Oh, I think that could be it


Anxious

B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man

I'm a business man with a business plan
I’m gonna make you money in business land
I'm a cool guy talkin' ’bout GameStop
I'm definitely not a cop

Why'd you say you're not a cop?
Because I'm not
I think that you're a cop
I also think that you're a cop

Listen boys, you better both stop
Or I'll have you arreste—, I’m not a cop

I’m a business man with a business tan
I spend my days in a big black unmarked van
If you wanna talk turkey, I'm here to talk shop
I’m definitely not a cop

You're a motherfucking cop
I can tell from the way that you stand
And you said that you worked in an unmarked van

Well listen, boys
I'm not a cop


I'm a business man in a coffee shop
With a loaded pistol and a bulletproof vest
I saw my wife get killed by the drug cartel
I’m not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man
Why does he have a gun?
Ski-bi-di-bi-dap-dap-dap-di-bi-dap (Business)

Calling Officer Jackson, has your cover been blown?
Is that your police radar?
That was my business phone
And the cover they're referring to
Is when I sung "Money" by Pink Floyd
Yeah, that's a business song

Saying "business" before another word
Doesn't make the whole thing business related
And if I may critique the whole police system
Then— oh, look, there's a sniper pointed at my forehead
No, it's not
Yes, it is (No, it's not)
See this little red dot? (Yes)
That's for a sniper shot
There's no snipers here and there's no police plot
(Snipers ready) Do it now, take the shot


I'm a business man, speaking with two friends
And one of them has a single chickenpock on their head
I don't know the guy who's dressed in camouflage
With an M-21 pointed at your friend's head

You shouldn't have said that
I think you've really upset him
What do you mean you don't know me?
I was the best man at your wedding
I'm a business man, I'm not friends with snipers
Oh yeah?
Oh yeah

Ah! You shot me in the leg! (You shot him in the leg)
You shot me in my left leg! (You shot him in his left leg)
He's a business man who's definitely not a cop
But now he's been shot in his left leg

How about now?
No, I still don't know you
Say my name!
I don't know your name!
Why don't you say his name?
He's gonna shoot you again
I told you, I don't know his na—


Oh, he shot my other leg! (He shot his other leg)
He shot me in my right leg! (He shot him in the right leg)
He's a business man getting shot in his legs
By his ex-best man, he is not a cop

Say my name
No, you've got a dumb name
Ugh, fine! Dwink Bexon
What?
That's his name, Dwink Bexon
Oh, that's, that's fine
Okay, that's a name, I suppose
That's a pretty dumb name

Ah! Dwink Bexon just shot me in the tits!
Ah! Dwink, stop shooting my business associates!
I'm a bad cop and if you couldn't tell
I also killed your wife in that drug cartel

Call for backup or we're all gonna die
Just admit that you're police and save our lives
Boys, I'd do anything to make the shooting stop
But I've told you before, I'm not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man (Business)
B-B-B-B-Business man (Business)
B-B-B-B-Business man (Oh yeah)
I told you before, I'm in business only
With a b-b-b-briefcase
And a b-b-b-ballpoint pen, ah
He's definitely not a cop

B-B-B-B-Business man
B-B-B-B-Business man

It's Sunday night and you're at home all alone
Last night was great, it was our very first date
So now it's time to pull out my phone
Gonna send you somethin' real quick
It ain't gonna be a dick pick, no, no
Romance needs clarity
But baby, that don't work for me, I'm sendin'


Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I send the first text in a cute way (Cute way)
And then I don't reply for seven fuckin' days, yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Oh, you text me what night am I free
And I reply, "Yes." Full stop


I send you a littlе smiley face (Smiley facе)
So you send me back a little smiley face (Little smiley face)
And then I say, "Hey," and so you write back, "Hey"
And I say, "'Hey' what?" (Hey what?)
And you say, "You said 'hey' first"
And I say, "Okay (Okay)
'Croissant emoji', fuck you"



Mixed messages
Mixed messages
One second, I say you're very pretty (Very pretty)
And then I show up at your house and I kick your dog, yeah
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I pay for the dog's veterinary bills
But then I punch your dad in the dick, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha


Now we're going to a hospital
Just me, you, and your dad in the back of an ambulance
And even with your dad's broken dick
The air is thick with sexual tension
I'm really sorry for punchin' your dad in the dick
I won't do it again
You make me shake his hands and promise
But as I do, I ball up my other fist and I
Punch your dad in the dick again (Dick again)
I punch your dad in his broken dick again
You think I'm sexy, I'm being mysterious
Sendin' you these mi-mixed messages
You say, "Stop punchin' my dad's dick"
I say, "Okay," but then I wink
So you grab both of my hands quick
Stopping my third attempt to punch your dad's dick
Oh, baby, you've played this game before
Too bad, I've played a little bit more
You got my both my hands, so I use my head
I headbutt your dad's pants in the back of an ambulance
And between the headbutts, our eyes lock as we're holding hands
And we can't help but kiss over your dad's not once
Twice, thrice broken dick



Mixed messages
Mixed messages
I say I love you in a cute way (Cute way)
And then I punch your dad's dick every day
Mixed messages
Mixed messages
Tell your dad that I'm sorry
But then punch him in his dick again (Why, why, why)

Daniel, Michael's here for your sleepover
Please, ple-ple-please, please play nice


You can touch my LEGO, you can touch my Pokémon cards
You can watch Ninjago or play with Thor of Asgard
You can touch my fidget spinners, my dad bought me eighteen
You can play with anything, but please don't touch my monster truck
You can play my Fortnite, I know that you love Fortnite
You can touch my bike or my kite or my Spiderman light
You can put your hand on my slap bass (Slap bass)
But if you touch my monster truck, I'll stab you in the face (Bitch)
You can touch the pills that my dad keeps in the bathroom
You can go and smell all the things in my sister's bedroom
You touch my Tonka truck? I couldn't give a fuck
What's the one thing I said? Don't touch my monster truck


If you touch my monster truck
I'll fuckin' bite you on your arm
And then my mama gonna call your mama and say
"Take your dumbass kid back home"
And I know for a fact you got no Dunkaroos
You got not Fruit Roll-Ups in that two-bedroom apartment
All you got is a marriage on the rocks
And the feeling that you fucked up by touching my monster truck



Feeling that you fucked up by touching my monster truck
Feeling that you fucked up by touching my monster truck


If you tell anyone at school that I cried
When you t-t-touched my monster truck
I'll tell everyone at school that you got no TV at your house
And you shat yourself (Shat yourself)
My dad could beat up your dad, my dad is John Cena
I'm allowed to drink Coke, you've got a weird weiner
My mum says that your dad is a cuck
But I don't know that word, but I know another word, it's
Monster truck (M-Monster truck, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma)
Monster truck (M-Monster truck, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma)
Monster truck (M-Monster truck, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma)
Monster truck (M-Monster truck, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma)
Yeah, don't you touch my


I am a little shit
The kind of kid that you'd like to hit
But you cannot 'cause hittin' kids is wrong
So you settle for watching me get hit by my mum in a
(Supermarket) Crowded supermarket
(Crowded supermarket) A crowded supermarket
You take an opportunity while I'm stuck
To kick the shit out of my monster truck


(Yeah)
Kick the shit out of my monster truck
(I know you want to)
Kick the shit out of my monster truck
(Take your dumbass kid back home)
Kick the shit out of my monster truck
(Take your dumbass kid back home)
Kick the shit out of my monster truck


Loretta broke my heart in a letter
Told me she was leaving and her life would be better
Joan broke it off over the phone
After the tone, she left me alone
Jen said she'd never ever see me again
When I saw her again, she said it again
Jan met another man
Liza got amnesia, just forgot who I am
Felicity said there was no electricity
Emily, no chemistry
Fran ran, Bruce turned out to be a man
Flo had to go, I couldn’t go with the flow
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town
But I'm hopin' that you’ll stick around


He doesn't cook or clean
He's not good boyfriend material
(Oh, we could eat cereal)
You'll lose interest fast, his relationships never last
(Shut up girlfriends from the past)
He says he'll do one thing
And then he goes and does another thing
(Who organized all my ex-girlfriends into a choir)
(And got them to sing? Oh)




Ooh (Ooh, shut up)
Ooh (Shut up girlfriends from the past)


Mimi will no longer see me
Brittany, Brittany hit me
Paula, Persephone, Stella, and Stephanie
There must be fifty ways that lovers have left me
Carol Brown just took a bus out of town


Love is a delicate thing
It can just float away on the breeze
(He said the same thing to me)
How will we ever know
We found the right person in this world?
(He means he looks at other girls)
Love is a mystery, it does not follow rules
(This guy is a fool) Who?
(He'll always be a boy, he's a man who never grew up)


I thought I told you to shut up (Ooh)
Mona, you told me you were in a coma (Ooh)
Tiffany, you said that you had an epiphany (Ooh)
Would you like a little cereal?
Who organized this choir of ex-girlfriends? (Ooh)
Was it you, Carol Brown? Was it you, Carol Brown?



Carol Brown just took the bus out of town
But I'm hopin’ that you’ll stick around
Stick around (Do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do)
(Do-do, do-do-do-do)
(Do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do) Stick around
(Do-do, do-do-do-do, do-do-do) Stick around


Sunday morning, I'm not gonna lie
I'm pretty hungover and I'm scat and I'm dry
I'm sitting with the family in a boujee cafe
Why did I drop four caps before Mother's day?
The waitress says, "I'm Patricia, can I get you a drink?"
Hey Patricia, can you bring me the kitchen sink?
So I can drown myself in front of all your clientele
I've done bad things to my body, now I'm goin' through hell
Mum says, "Tom's such a funny boy"
My sister says, "Don't you fuckin' ruin Mother's day again"
I heard what they said, but I couldn't care less
I just saw this cafe does a, a big breakfast


Big, big, big, big, big, big
Big breakfast


I'm gonna regret ordering the
Big breakfast
Everybody seems to forget how they felt last time
They got the big breakfast
I think that I'm still drunk
It's the only thing getting me out of this funk
Patricia, daddy want the big breakfast



Wednesday arvo, work's set up an embargo
On me going home to watch Netflix and cry
Boss says, "Hey, we've had a long day
Why don't we have the next meeting down in the cafe?
Whatever you want, you know it's boss man's shout
But nothing too pricey, don't get the trout!"
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, fuck you
I'm gonna get the most expensive thing on the menu


What do they got?
Oh, they do an all-day breakfast here
Shit


Eggs, bacon
Hashed brown, baked beans
Another hashed brown
Sausage, toast
Regret


I'm gonna regret ordering the
Big breakfast
Everybody seems to forget how they felt last time
They got the big breakfast
Don't you talk to me about my health
I just want a breakfast that makes me hate myself
And that's why
I'm gonna get the big breakfast
I'm gonna get the big breakfast
I'm gonna get the big breakfast

One, two, three, four


If I say my relationship is kinda complicated
With my ex-girlfriend or with my dad
Then I actually mean that the relationship is simple
It is just bad (It's just bad, bad)
And if I click "Attending" to your shithouse house party
For seventy people I don't know (I don't fuckin' know)
Even if you ask me on the day and I say yes (Yes)
I'm still not going to go
Please don't make me say it


It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the (—Tween the) lines
I'm bein' subtle, delicate
You massive, stupid piece of shit


It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines



It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the fuckin' lines
I'm bein' subtle, delicate
You massive, stupid—


Another example
If he says, "Nice head"
That means you got a bad head
If she says, "I literally can't"
She literally can, she's using hyperbole
"G'day, champion," "I'd like to fight you"
"How are you, big fella?" "Do you wanna get stabbed?"
"Hello, sunshine," "G'day, big wheels"
"Yeah, alright, legend," "You're going to die"
"Do it for exposure," "We're not gonna pay you"
"It's not you, it's me," "It is you"
"I don't really date much," "I'm scared it's gonna hurt me"
"Wanna see some improv?" "I'm a bit quirky"
Literally anything, "I have a pen" (Wink)
That made it sexual
Yeah, nah, yeah, nah, yeah
Well, that's Australian and highly contexual


I wouldn't say I'm bad at sex
I'd just say I'm yet to reach my potential
I won't say this doesn't make sense
I'll just say my art can be tangential
You can be anything you wanna be
As long as you mean what you say
But never say what you mean



It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines

It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines


Baby, baby
Please don't misunderstand me
I'll always leave you a clue
Assume, presume
Don't wait, it's time to specualate
You've got to see the signs
Read between my fuckin' lines

It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines
Assume, presume
Don't wait, it's time to specualate
It's not what's said, what's implied?
Read between the, —tween the lines

Put a bit of fruit and salad together
Make a fruit salad, yeah everyone's a winner
Sweetness of fruit variety of salad
Ooh fruit salad you're the best of both worlds


Fruit, it's pretty good to eat
Natural sugar make it taste so sweet
Love to munch an apple right to its core
But about halfway it becomes a chore

Salad, yum yum, looks pretty good to me
Healthy with variety
But salad sometimes gets a little bit bland
Unless you're having Caesar with a bit of fried bacon

We're in the future, 2021
We cloned a sheep and we go to space for fun
We send our billionaires up into the atmosphere
But I reckon we should just fund what I got here

(Fruit) Oh fruit get it yum yum yum
Put it on your tongue down inside your tum
Then out your bum


(Salad) Eat a salad it can't be wrong
'Cause it makes me stronger
Fruit salad mother fucker


Put a bit of fruit and salad together
Make a fruit salad, yeah everyone's a winner
Sweetness of fruit variety of salad
Ooh fruit salad you're the best of both worlds


I feel like Rambo with a Mango
Fruit salad mother fucker (best of both worlds)
Eat a salad it can't be wrong
'Cause it makes me stronger (best of both worlds)


Everybody want to hear you talk
When you rock a glass bowl and a big fat fork
Get busy mixing kiwi and banana
Get the big salad like George Costanza

Step 1 Get a fruit and chop it
Depending on the fruit remove the skin of it
Step 2 There are no more steps
Eat it up, make another, get your fruit salad reps


Be cool when you're talking FS be cool
And remember Tommy knows best knows best
One rule for the fruit salad show
Don't you dare include the tomato

It's a fruit it's a fruit I get it
But if it's not sweet then you can forget it
Don't believe the labels of society
FS does not reward blind compliancy


Chilly is a fruit, but don't put it in a fruit salad
Corn is a fruit, get it out of my fruit salad
Cucumber is a fruit, but is doesn't belong
If it's going in the tum tum gotta be yum yum

Put a bit of fruit and salad together
Make a fruit salad, yeah everyone's a winner
Sweetness of fruit variety of salad
Ooh fruit salad you're the best of both worlds

Oooooh lemme hear you sing it la la
La la, la la la la Fruit salad mother fucker
La la, la la la la Best of both worlds
La la, la la la la
La la, la la la la Fruit salad mother fucker
La la, la la la la Best of both worlds
La la, la la la la
La la, la la