These include:
- Black and white thinking
- Unrealistic expectations
- Selective attention, i.e. always looking for the negative
- Disqualifying the positive, i.e. life could always be worse, but it's not
- "Should thoughts," i.e. insisting the world bend to your will
If you're active and doing things, you're less likely to dwell on the negative. Being idle makes it easy to dwell on the negative.
Lots of little positives is better for happiness than occasionally accomplishing some big, long-term audacious goal.
Do more of:
- Enjoyable stuff
- Achievement stuff, i.e. go defeat your goals
- Meaningful stuff
- Physical stuff, i.e. exercise
- Social stuff
The happiest people have strong relationships, so be clear on who your support network is:
- Who appreciates you or thinks highly of you?
- Who is there to help you out if needed?
- Who can you call, text, or visit for emotional support?
- Who is good at giving you advice or helping you make decisions?
- Who do you like spending time with?
- Who can you do activities with?
To make this logistically easier and even more powerful, be part of a group that meets regularly. Also cut ties with toxic people. (Think of your life as a bonsai tree – you need to water it and fertilize it, but you need to trim it to keep it healthy.)
Instead of self-criticism, try self-reassurance. Think less about your mistakes and more about the qualities of yourself you like best.
Feeling good about yourself gives you the energy and confidence to keep improving.
Expressing gratitude only changes your perspective. Gratitude is even nicer if you express it to other people.
Don't think of this as a lot to do. Instead, look at it as having so many ways there are to be happier!
As Arthur Ashe said, "To achieve greatness, start where you are, use what you have, do what you can."