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never_split_the_difference_cheatsheet.md

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Calibrated questions

  • What is the biggest challenge you face?
  • What about this is important to you?
  • How can I help to make this better for us?
  • How would you like me to proceed?
  • What is it that brought us into this situation?
  • How can we solve this problem?
  • What’s the objective? / What are we trying to accomplish here?
  • How am I supposed to do that?

Bad signs

  • You're right
  • I'll try (I plan to fail)

Say no 4 times

  1. How am I supposed to do that?
  2. Your offer is very generous, I’m sorry, that just doesn’t work for me
  3. I’m sorry but I’m afraid I just can’t do that.
  4. "No" delivered with a downward inflection and a tone of regard

Tone of voice != message? => Use labels:

  • Customer: "Yes . . ."
  • You: "I heard you say, ‘Yes,’ but it seemed like there was hesitation in your voice."
  • Customer: "Oh, it’s nothing really."
  • You: "No, this is important, let’s make sure we get this right."
  • Customer: "Thanks, I appreciate it."