jokes.json

[{"id":"883965216656154625","text":"the pig walked into the shop and the lady said we dont make types of meat in this shop","created_at":"Sun Jul 09 08:25:05 +0000 2017"},{"id":"883289562684026885","text":"What do you get when you cross a t-rex and a chicken<break time=\"1500ms\"/>nothing but death","created_at":"Fri Jul 07 11:40:17 +0000 2017"},{"id":"882264198792826880","text":"why cats love eating fish<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because they both smell bad","created_at":"Tue Jul 04 15:45:51 +0000 2017"},{"id":"879761212086661121","text":"WHAT DO U CALL A FREAK HORSE<break time=\"1500ms\"/>JESSICA","created_at":"Tue Jun 27 17:59:52 +0000 2017"},{"id":"876709922318274560","text":"why did the skeleton have no shoes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because he had no money to by them","created_at":"Mon Jun 19 07:55:08 +0000 2017"},{"id":"876136138850934785","text":"who created french fries?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a stupid french artist !","created_at":"Sat Jun 17 17:55:07 +0000 2017"},{"id":"875382469796798465","text":"who is a man?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>me","created_at":"Thu Jun 15 16:00:19 +0000 2017"},{"id":"874686596863459333","text":"why did you leave the oven open<break time=\"1500ms\"/>becose I fogot","created_at":"Tue Jun 13 17:55:10 +0000 2017"},{"id":"873961841533308932","text":"What did the pepper say to the cow?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Your one spicy looking cow","created_at":"Sun Jun 11 17:55:15 +0000 2017"},{"id":"873112885190311936","text":"You want to see a joke?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Look in the mirror! \n\n*CAUTION, DON’T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!*","created_at":"Fri Jun 09 09:41:48 +0000 2017"},{"id":"872421368473808896","text":"who cleans lakes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a poo fish","created_at":"Wed Jun 07 11:53:57 +0000 2017"},{"id":"871636484977197056","text":"why did the frog get the bus to town<break time=\"1500ms\"/>he is lazy","created_at":"Mon Jun 05 07:55:06 +0000 2017"},{"id":"871007508307083264","text":"how do you light a fire with out matches<break time=\"1500ms\"/>sticks","created_at":"Sat Jun 03 14:15:47 +0000 2017"},{"id":"870183176404119552","text":"what’s green and hangs off trees<break time=\"1500ms\"/>GIRAFFE","created_at":"Thu Jun 01 07:40:11 +0000 2017"},{"id":"869518825833865216","text":"whats brown and hery and likes to go on holday<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a coconut on holday","created_at":"Tue May 30 11:40:17 +0000 2017"},{"id":"868807916891099136","text":"A MAN WENT TO A BAR<break time=\"1500ms\"/>YEAH GIVE ME A WISKY BECAUSE I BROK UP WHIT MY WIFE","created_at":"Sun May 28 12:35:23 +0000 2017"},{"id":"868160055836909569","text":"where do monkys go on there vacation<break time=\"1500ms\"/>monky mountain","created_at":"Fri May 26 17:41:01 +0000 2017"},{"id":"867302928633262081","text":"how do dogs live<break time=\"1500ms\"/>by eating food","created_at":"Wed May 24 08:55:06 +0000 2017"},{"id":"866720214121144321","text":"what did the dog say to a cat when he was in a toilet<break time=\"1500ms\"/>there is no more paper","created_at":"Mon May 22 18:19:36 +0000 2017"},{"id":"866004387260506114","text":"were do cows go on holiday<break time=\"1500ms\"/>to the toilet","created_at":"Sat May 20 18:55:10 +0000 2017"},{"id":"865246082154057728","text":"What is justin bieber ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>rubish","created_at":"Thu May 18 16:41:56 +0000 2017"},{"id":"864437807175086083","text":"what is a monkey thats drunk<break time=\"1500ms\"/>alcolic","created_at":"Tue May 16 11:10:08 +0000 2017"},{"id":"863677821150998528","text":"what do babys do everytime they cry.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>poo.","created_at":"Sun May 14 08:50:13 +0000 2017"},{"id":"862922828114526210","text":"What would wendy do without any pets.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>SHE WOULD FIND SOME PETS AT THE PET SHOP.","created_at":"Fri May 12 06:50:09 +0000 2017"},{"id":"862349090256019457","text":"what do you call a cat what is broken<break time=\"1500ms\"/>stupid cat","created_at":"Wed May 10 16:50:19 +0000 2017"},{"id":"861655191493500929","text":"how did the chicen suvive<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because he ate his self for dinna","created_at":"Mon May 08 18:53:01 +0000 2017"},{"id":"860839153268912129","text":"why were cow boys invented?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because they’re idiots","created_at":"Sat May 06 12:50:22 +0000 2017"},{"id":"860100307182903296","text":"mum:there are worms in my plate<break time=\"1500ms\"/>waiter:those are sousages","created_at":"Thu May 04 11:54:27 +0000 2017"},{"id":"859314045316419584","text":"DOCTOR DOCTOR,I’m sick and tired of YOU! What is the cure?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Don’t ever talk to me please,\n\nOkay.","created_at":"Tue May 02 07:50:08 +0000 2017"},{"id":"858682236828254212","text":"WHAT DOES A MONKEY KEEP AS A SECRET<break time=\"1500ms\"/>THAIR BANANAS","created_at":"Sun Apr 30 13:59:33 +0000 2017"},{"id":"857977002304909312","text":"what did the jealous man say to the movie star?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>you stink looser","created_at":"Fri Apr 28 15:17:12 +0000 2017"},{"id":"857639244457689088","text":"why did the chiken cross the road go back and go again.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because its bum fell of","created_at":"Thu Apr 27 16:55:04 +0000 2017"},{"id":"857203931948208132","text":"why dosent steel hurt superman<break time=\"1500ms\"/>answer: his movie is superman man of steel","created_at":"Wed Apr 26 12:05:18 +0000 2017"},{"id":"856418747493613568","text":"What do you do when you see an ugly squirrel? <break time=\"1500ms\"/>Nothing","created_at":"Mon Apr 24 08:05:15 +0000 2017"},{"id":"855771670287712256","text":"what do spys eat instead of mcdonalds?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>spydonalds","created_at":"Sat Apr 22 13:14:00 +0000 2017"},{"id":"855010372281131008","text":"how many times does one go into zero?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>as many times as it wants to","created_at":"Thu Apr 20 10:48:52 +0000 2017"},{"id":"854273577855614978","text":"Hey man your sheep are dead!\nOK if my sheep are dead then you are dead!\nI am a just joking! you are dead","created_at":"Tue Apr 18 10:01:07 +0000 2017"},{"id":"853654537982312453","text":"what does a skeleton eat <break time=\"1500ms\"/>bones","created_at":"Sun Apr 16 17:01:16 +0000 2017"},{"id":"852926180017745923","text":"who is fool in the world?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>everyone is","created_at":"Fri Apr 14 16:47:02 +0000 2017"},{"id":"852114441378377730","text":"what key cant onlock something<break time=\"1500ms\"/>badkeys","created_at":"Wed Apr 12 11:01:29 +0000 2017"},{"id":"851342770786750465","text":"why do thiefs want money<break time=\"1500ms\"/>they want money because that is thier job and they have to do thier job.","created_at":"Mon Apr 10 07:55:08 +0000 2017"},{"id":"850663289390600192","text":"why didn’t the skeleton go swimming <break time=\"1500ms\"/>because his eyeballs will be filled with water","created_at":"Sat Apr 08 10:55:07 +0000 2017"},{"id":"849893215130066944","text":"where deos nicki minaj go to get her hair doen? <break time=\"1500ms\"/>at the market","created_at":"Thu Apr 06 07:55:07 +0000 2017"},{"id":"849253536420556800","text":"@Sillyman0 Because to deprive my readers of the joy of the way this one is written and the doctor's despair would be a sad sad day","created_at":"Tue Apr 04 13:33:16 +0000 2017"},{"id":"849223699169456129","text":"bob:doctor doctor i need a new but.\ndoctor:what is it bob.\nbob:it has a crack in it\ndoctor:that is normal bob","created_at":"Tue Apr 04 11:34:42 +0000 2017"},{"id":"848474695037005824","text":"Q. Why are Zombies fast<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A. To catch the bus","created_at":"Sun Apr 02 09:58:25 +0000 2017"},{"id":"847715704098873344","text":"what is funny and has eight legs <break time=\"1500ms\"/>a clown","created_at":"Fri Mar 31 07:42:28 +0000 2017"},{"id":"847027789429702656","text":"what do cavemen eat<break time=\"1500ms\"/>caves","created_at":"Wed Mar 29 10:08:56 +0000 2017"},{"id":"846274406934597635","text":"where do cows go on holiday<break time=\"1500ms\"/>FRANCE","created_at":"Mon Mar 27 08:15:16 +0000 2017"},{"id":"845671477466804225","text":"how do you stop a zombie from eating your hed<break time=\"1500ms\"/>you dont","created_at":"Sat Mar 25 16:19:26 +0000 2017"},{"id":"844934695439814656","text":"HOW DID THE CHEWING GUM CROSS THE ROAD?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>IT WAS","created_at":"Thu Mar 23 15:31:44 +0000 2017"},{"id":"844174355202498561","text":"the lady went down to the BOTOM of a mountain<break time=\"1500ms\"/>lol","created_at":"Tue Mar 21 13:10:24 +0000 2017"},{"id":"843525030067814402","text":"doctor,doctor I feel like an apple.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>can you vomet the seeds out.","created_at":"Sun Mar 19 18:10:13 +0000 2017"},{"id":"842723184885534720","text":"how do you get a computer to work<break time=\"1500ms\"/>just plug it in","created_at":"Fri Mar 17 13:03:58 +0000 2017"},{"id":"841934733189746688","text":"WHAT DID JOKER SAY TO BATMAN <break time=\"1500ms\"/>YOUR SO STUPID","created_at":"Wed Mar 15 08:50:57 +0000 2017"},{"id":"841275256610410497","text":"does your dog ware a sunhat when its hot <break time=\"1500ms\"/>no just pants","created_at":"Mon Mar 13 13:10:25 +0000 2017"},{"id":"840656128476340224","text":"what has long hair and is white?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A. a vampire","created_at":"Sat Mar 11 20:10:14 +0000 2017"},{"id":"839916272653590529","text":"why is it wrong to be frends with a fish.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>they are poopy","created_at":"Thu Mar 09 19:10:18 +0000 2017"},{"id":"839154954078203905","text":"go out with me. \nok.\nyour dumped.","created_at":"Tue Mar 07 16:45:06 +0000 2017"},{"id":"838432777955586049","text":"WHAT DO YOU A UNICORN THAT GOES TO WORK <break time=\"1500ms\"/>A WIMP","created_at":"Sun Mar 05 16:55:26 +0000 2017"},{"id":"837596529833701377","text":"how does a creature do tricks <break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it has a life of its own","created_at":"Fri Mar 03 09:32:29 +0000 2017"},{"id":"836919419574050816","text":"what comes up but never comes down ? <break time=\"1500ms\"/>a pine-apple","created_at":"Wed Mar 01 12:41:53 +0000 2017"},{"id":"836146493946007552","text":"nock nock\nwho there\nalice\nalice who\nIT IS MONDAY GO TO SCHOOL","created_at":"Mon Feb 27 09:30:33 +0000 2017"},{"id":"835507161941880833","text":"what do you call a banana with no eyes <break time=\"1500ms\"/>a fshhhh","created_at":"Sat Feb 25 15:10:05 +0000 2017"},{"id":"834817869984698370","text":"when do babys go to college ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>when they are smart","created_at":"Thu Feb 23 17:31:05 +0000 2017"},{"id":"834032617511088128","text":"How do you get a tissue to dance?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>You put a little boogie in it ( DONT TRY THIS AT HOME ANYBODY)","created_at":"Tue Feb 21 13:30:46 +0000 2017"},{"id":"833315380085014528","text":"why did the chicken cross the road<break time=\"1500ms\"/>to get her tv,eggs,feet,bananas,brides,groomes and earth","created_at":"Sun Feb 19 14:00:43 +0000 2017"},{"id":"832580411347828737","text":"q:who is the disgusting boy band <break time=\"1500ms\"/>a:the beatles","created_at":"Fri Feb 17 13:20:13 +0000 2017"},{"id":"831843181880807425","text":"why did the hen run away from the farm <break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it did not belong there","created_at":"Wed Feb 15 12:30:44 +0000 2017"},{"id":"831207612821692418","text":"what did the man do with time <break time=\"1500ms\"/>wasted it","created_at":"Mon Feb 13 18:25:12 +0000 2017"},{"id":"830497945866878977","text":"what do you say when somethig carnt fly?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>can it fly yet","created_at":"Sat Feb 11 19:25:14 +0000 2017"},{"id":"829622154216013826","text":"nock nock \nwhos thier \nmummy ?\nmummy who\nDADDY","created_at":"Thu Feb 09 09:25:09 +0000 2017"},{"id":"828893102588981248","text":"HEY WHATS FOR DINNER COW<break time=\"1500ms\"/>POO SIR IT IS THE FRENCH WAY","created_at":"Tue Feb 07 09:08:10 +0000 2017"},{"id":"828306062570881025","text":"what does a frog say?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>ninininininini nininininininini","created_at":"Sun Feb 05 18:15:29 +0000 2017"},{"id":"827551091613167617","text":"docter docter i hit my head<break time=\"1500ms\"/>what do you want me to do stupid","created_at":"Fri Feb 03 16:15:30 +0000 2017"},{"id":"826871603157929984","text":"your a bin \nno I m not \nyou look like one \nok I am","created_at":"Wed Feb 01 19:15:27 +0000 2017"},{"id":"826134750167461889","text":"do you like icecream?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>then maybe you should marry it","created_at":"Mon Jan 30 18:27:27 +0000 2017"},{"id":"825283401741717505","text":"knock knock \ntoilet \ntoilet cat\nwhos there \ntoilet who","created_at":"Sat Jan 28 10:04:30 +0000 2017"},{"id":"824601305758961665","text":"if you have an incident with a cone it is called a co incident witch means a company incident","created_at":"Thu Jan 26 12:54:06 +0000 2017"},{"id":"823880623878270977","text":"where does an owl get his eyes from\nfrom the uuuuuu store","created_at":"Tue Jan 24 13:10:22 +0000 2017"},{"id":"823253093718650880","text":"@KidsWriteJokes the first line of this submitted joke is 'monkey joke'. They gave away the punchline of the joke there ever so slightly","created_at":"Sun Jan 22 19:36:47 +0000 2017"},{"id":"823223429788790784","text":"monkey joke\nq what keys cant you play on a piano\na a monkey","created_at":"Sun Jan 22 17:38:55 +0000 2017"},{"id":"822431087574085633","text":"A guy was at a shop he brought lobsters and said to the man: AAAAAGH its a crab.And the other man said thats not a crab its a orange pencil.","created_at":"Fri Jan 20 13:10:25 +0000 2017"},{"id":"821639579828715520","text":"knock knock.\nwho’s there?\na fis.\na fis who?\na fisherman.\ngo away! i already have hundreds of fish.","created_at":"Wed Jan 18 08:45:15 +0000 2017"},{"id":"820918840322392065","text":"why wolves howl?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because they have no idea what are they doing","created_at":"Mon Jan 16 09:01:18 +0000 2017"},{"id":"820284777559375873","text":"which one born first hen or egg ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>hen is first","created_at":"Sat Jan 14 15:01:45 +0000 2017"},{"id":"819454118255333377","text":"what do you call a person who is yellow?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a cheese statue","created_at":"Thu Jan 12 08:01:01 +0000 2017"},{"id":"818899949068886019","text":"BE QUIET MARY!!!!!","created_at":"Tue Jan 10 19:18:56 +0000 2017"},{"id":"818107712752013312","text":"Knock knock\nwhos there\nBOB HUMBUG\nBob Humbug who\nnaughty bob humbug","created_at":"Sun Jan 08 14:50:53 +0000 2017"},{"id":"817340220324593669","text":"I now a man with a wooden leg named sea \nwhat was the name of the other leg \nSAND","created_at":"Fri Jan 06 12:01:08 +0000 2017"},{"id":"816566523791810560","text":"Knock knock\nWho’s there?\nRat !\nRat who?\nYour new doctor","created_at":"Wed Jan 04 08:46:45 +0000 2017"},{"id":"815533085517316096","text":"what is furry and lays eggs and also flys?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a hot air chicken egg","created_at":"Sun Jan 01 12:20:14 +0000 2017"},{"id":"814908497720733698","text":"what do you call a camel with no bones in his back<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a horse","created_at":"Fri Dec 30 18:58:20 +0000 2016"},{"id":"814204376067739648","text":"what does the sock say<break time=\"1500ms\"/>im a sock yeah?","created_at":"Wed Dec 28 20:20:25 +0000 2016"},{"id":"813343661601812480","text":"NOC NOC\nROBER HOO\nA COP","created_at":"Mon Dec 26 11:20:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"812739697193656324","text":"If a wookie get shot and it suvives is it a lucky wookie","created_at":"Sat Dec 24 19:20:18 +0000 2016"},{"id":"811999844936151040","text":"IGLOO YOUR NOT FUNNY DO YOU UNDERSTAND","created_at":"Thu Dec 22 18:20:23 +0000 2016"},{"id":"811319118515343365","text":"crocodiles might be vegitarians because when they open their mouths, we could easily put  in vegetables!","created_at":"Tue Dec 20 21:15:26 +0000 2016"},{"id":"810541465319378944","text":"why do old people use a walking stick?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because they like colecting sticks.","created_at":"Sun Dec 18 17:45:19 +0000 2016"},{"id":"809862036645675009","text":"have you seen a red zebra<break time=\"1500ms\"/>they do not exist","created_at":"Fri Dec 16 20:45:30 +0000 2016"},{"id":"809122231209099264","text":"what did the rude man say to the digger<break time=\"1500ms\"/>hurry up","created_at":"Wed Dec 14 19:45:47 +0000 2016"},{"id":"808441364400734208","text":"how does lions run faster?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>metal legs","created_at":"Mon Dec 12 22:40:16 +0000 2016"},{"id":"807701507957211136","text":"what is a bannana in a taxi?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>bannana day trip","created_at":"Sat Dec 10 21:40:20 +0000 2016"},{"id":"806961659789058048","text":"What is the secret ingrediant of a toilot?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Poo","created_at":"Thu Dec 08 20:40:26 +0000 2016"},{"id":"806218615859068928","text":"well well well. your JUST IN TIME","created_at":"Tue Dec 06 19:27:51 +0000 2016"},{"id":"804688144222273536","text":"what you will do if you lazy and someone tell you to go to the market?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>i will ​visit the online market","created_at":"Fri Dec 02 14:06:18 +0000 2016"},{"id":"800997309488082946","text":"howcome a chiken dident eat his sandwich<break time=\"1500ms\"/>becuse a monky ate the sandwich","created_at":"Tue Nov 22 09:40:15 +0000 2016"},{"id":"800301464627384320","text":"gess how many snakes there are<break time=\"1500ms\"/>13","created_at":"Sun Nov 20 11:35:12 +0000 2016"},{"id":"799712609251442688","text":"NOCK NOCK,\nDOCTOR\nDOCTOR LISBAN","created_at":"Fri Nov 18 20:35:18 +0000 2016"},{"id":"798882128721248261","text":"what do you call a fish with no tail?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a one eyed grape","created_at":"Wed Nov 16 13:35:16 +0000 2016"},{"id":"798110881963909120","text":"why did the cow go to the movies?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because movies","created_at":"Mon Nov 14 10:30:37 +0000 2016"},{"id":"797715936233095169","text":"what dose meat have when there angry<break time=\"1500ms\"/>SAU SAGE","created_at":"Sun Nov 13 08:21:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"785175587518382081","text":"what did the ham say to the bred<break time=\"1500ms\"/>if we were togeter we wuod be lovly","created_at":"Sun Oct 09 17:50:22 +0000 2016"},{"id":"784481053310349312","text":"why is the pool so cold<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because of the sun","created_at":"Fri Oct 07 19:50:32 +0000 2016"},{"id":"783573809962033152","text":"How do you wake up Jessie J ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Poke her face","created_at":"Wed Oct 05 07:45:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"782849010801451008","text":"what do you call a tiger with glasses on?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a scientist tiger","created_at":"Mon Oct 03 07:45:23 +0000 2016"},{"id":"782290352812204033","text":"nock nock\n[ nock nock who? ]\ncall again please I need a poo","created_at":"Sat Oct 01 18:45:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"781475024087687169","text":"why did the chicken cross the road<break time=\"1500ms\"/>to get its baby monkeys ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahaha","created_at":"Thu Sep 29 12:45:39 +0000 2016"},{"id":"780825738224304129","text":"knock knock\nwho is there\nboss\nboss who\nboss will you give me some pens","created_at":"Tue Sep 27 17:45:37 +0000 2016"},{"id":"780085801879232512","text":"doctor doctor i think i am a spoon.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>sit on that chair and stop staring.","created_at":"Sun Sep 25 16:45:23 +0000 2016"},{"id":"779282121101803520","text":"is hermione in harry potter hot?\nno\nyes she is","created_at":"Fri Sep 23 11:31:50 +0000 2016"},{"id":"776087641007726592","text":"if you go to the ham contest wat will the man say<break time=\"1500ms\"/>you won last year you are not alowed","created_at":"Wed Sep 14 15:58:07 +0000 2016"},{"id":"774545531070734336","text":"why did the skittle go bowling?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because he is part of bowling.","created_at":"Sat Sep 10 09:50:19 +0000 2016"},{"id":"773835876480811008","text":"waiter do you have frog legs.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>no Ive always had ketchup legs with poo on them.","created_at":"Thu Sep 08 10:50:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"773049436696145920","text":"Q: why do bees have black stripes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A:they live in the dark","created_at":"Tue Sep 06 06:45:22 +0000 2016"},{"id":"772520980166180864","text":"knock knock\nwho,s there\ngo away Im having a poo","created_at":"Sun Sep 04 19:45:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"771735906797641733","text":"what will happen if you added water ice fire and food<break time=\"1500ms\"/>nothing","created_at":"Fri Sep 02 15:45:52 +0000 2016"},{"id":"770920432203665408","text":"knock knock\nwhose there\nboiled\nboiled who\neggs","created_at":"Wed Aug 31 09:45:28 +0000 2016"},{"id":"770240993232904192","text":"What Smells Bad And Putts People To Sleep\nUh…Tear Gas\nNO. Your bottem","created_at":"Mon Aug 29 12:45:37 +0000 2016"},{"id":"769516162199740416","text":"were did the ghost watch tv all night. <break time=\"1500ms\"/>in his haunted casle","created_at":"Sat Aug 27 12:45:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"768851849436917760","text":"What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Shut up","created_at":"Thu Aug 25 16:45:40 +0000 2016"},{"id":"768172325560786944","text":"Question: What do you call a lady with a lady with marmelade on her head.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Answer:Margret.","created_at":"Tue Aug 23 19:45:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"767303201267867650","text":"why do people light a fire in july<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because there cold","created_at":"Sun Aug 21 10:11:53 +0000 2016"},{"id":"766717734688288769","text":"when does chicken cross the road<break time=\"1500ms\"/>when the road is clean","created_at":"Fri Aug 19 19:25:27 +0000 2016"},{"id":"765902350443831296","text":"what do you call a fish with no eyes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>fishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh","created_at":"Wed Aug 17 13:25:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"765100789476028416","text":"what do you call the strongest vegtable <break time=\"1500ms\"/>mussles","created_at":"Mon Aug 15 08:20:17 +0000 2016"},{"id":"764481750194130944","text":"why did the skeleton not go to the Halloween party?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>he feels bony","created_at":"Sat Aug 13 15:20:27 +0000 2016"},{"id":"763711811539570688","text":"In the past people ate trees","created_at":"Thu Aug 11 12:20:59 +0000 2016"},{"id":"762911350322499584","text":"why did the dog nock on the dor<break time=\"1500ms\"/>becuse he dident have pants on","created_at":"Tue Aug 09 07:20:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"762277193049378816","text":"what do you call a deer with no eyes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>EYE dunno","created_at":"Sun Aug 07 13:20:19 +0000 2016"},{"id":"761658150487457792","text":"WHY DID THE LION SAY HA HA<break time=\"1500ms\"/>BECAUSE HE COULD NOT SMILE","created_at":"Fri Aug 05 20:20:28 +0000 2016"},{"id":"760901834898898944","text":"why do monkeys eat banana<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because bananas are not afraid","created_at":"Wed Aug 03 18:15:08 +0000 2016"},{"id":"760087778042535936","text":"docter docter I feel like a bunch of curtans<break time=\"1500ms\"/>then open them up","created_at":"Mon Aug 01 12:20:22 +0000 2016"},{"id":"759312403070853121","text":"Son your late for dinner we had guests","created_at":"Sat Jul 30 08:59:18 +0000 2016"},{"id":"758350158371364865","text":"what do you call it when you get egg in your eye<break time=\"1500ms\"/>egg eye","created_at":"Wed Jul 27 17:15:41 +0000 2016"},{"id":"757655567129255936","text":"why did the cow cross the road?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Because hes an idiot","created_at":"Mon Jul 25 19:15:38 +0000 2016"},{"id":"756838887494971392","text":"what did a chicken say<break time=\"1500ms\"/>why do i have to go back to the egg aaaaaaaaaaaaa","created_at":"Sat Jul 23 13:10:26 +0000 2016"},{"id":"756174565781430272","text":"wut did the tortis say to the haer <break time=\"1500ms\"/>wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww","created_at":"Thu Jul 21 17:10:40 +0000 2016"},{"id":"755479971926249472","text":"Q: Why is Birmingham called Birmingham ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A: Because they like to burn ham","created_at":"Tue Jul 19 19:10:36 +0000 2016"},{"id":"754785306356903936","text":"why do sharks have eyes<break time=\"1500ms\"/>so they dont eat there best pals","created_at":"Sun Jul 17 21:10:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"754000212046340096","text":"what did the chicken do when it saw a car crash<break time=\"1500ms\"/>call the police","created_at":"Fri Jul 15 17:10:33 +0000 2016"},{"id":"753305623081676800","text":"man: waiter, waiter there’s a lamb in my Sunday dinner<break time=\"1500ms\"/>waiter: that’s because it helps you turn into one","created_at":"Wed Jul 13 19:10:30 +0000 2016"},{"id":"752550628841447424","text":"everythig I thouch dies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!","created_at":"Mon Jul 11 17:10:26 +0000 2016"},{"id":"751750317612658688","text":"Where did the chicken go when he broke his legs.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>He went to get a girl friend.","created_at":"Sat Jul 09 12:10:17 +0000 2016"},{"id":"751130041224990720","text":"whats a thiefs favourite day of the week<break time=\"1500ms\"/>mon-day","created_at":"Thu Jul 07 19:05:31 +0000 2016"},{"id":"750208881293422592","text":"how do you talk to a doctor<break time=\"1500ms\"/>in posh language","created_at":"Tue Jul 05 06:05:10 +0000 2016"},{"id":"749574689161355264","text":"I DONT KNOW JOKES SORRY","created_at":"Sun Jul 03 12:05:06 +0000 2016"},{"id":"748132751505764352","text":"why does the spaceman go to a moon?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>to fart","created_at":"Wed Jun 29 12:35:22 +0000 2016"},{"id":"747876047224512516","text":"Q: what did the dog do to the floor<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A: it clean the floor","created_at":"Tue Jun 28 19:35:19 +0000 2016"},{"id":"747331305046581248","text":"What’s the different between a chicken and a elephant ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a elephant has a huge bottom","created_at":"Mon Jun 27 07:30:42 +0000 2016"},{"id":"747044419245871104","text":"what is brown and smelly?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a poo boot","created_at":"Sun Jun 26 12:30:43 +0000 2016"},{"id":"746697179234983937","text":"Why did the elephant cross the road ?\nbecause it had lost a peanut\nget it\ni know it’s not that funny is it","created_at":"Sat Jun 25 13:30:55 +0000 2016"},{"id":"746319750402301952","text":"Why did a penguin fart<break time=\"1500ms\"/>Because he drank TOO many coke","created_at":"Fri Jun 24 12:31:09 +0000 2016"},{"id":"745881756532867073","text":"What do you call a bird with no wings and no beak<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a walking egg","created_at":"Thu Jun 23 07:30:43 +0000 2016"},{"id":"745700678430003201","text":"why cant cats eat popcorn<break time=\"1500ms\"/>beacause cats get sleepy","created_at":"Wed Jun 22 19:31:10 +0000 2016"},{"id":"745156978335322112","text":"why didn’t the elephant go to the disco?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because his big bum wouldn’t fit through the door","created_at":"Tue Jun 21 07:30:42 +0000 2016"},{"id":"744975876752711680","text":"WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A LADY AND A POOING?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>A POOING LADY","created_at":"Mon Jun 20 19:31:04 +0000 2016"},{"id":"744430799047507968","text":"why did the man eat wee \nit was the end of the end of the world \nbut not now","created_at":"Sun Jun 19 07:25:08 +0000 2016"},{"id":"744066339376074753","text":"knock nock\nwhos there?\nme stupid","created_at":"Sat Jun 18 07:16:54 +0000 2016"},{"id":"739158630885433345","text":"how do you get  ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>put it in a bag whith water and put it on the floor","created_at":"Sat Jun 04 18:15:25 +0000 2016"},{"id":"738630128645885952","text":"why is a boomarang rubish<break time=\"1500ms\"/>becase it is rubish","created_at":"Fri Jun 03 07:15:20 +0000 2016"},{"id":"738449045438468097","text":"why did the chicken marry the crocodile<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because crocodooladoo is good family name.","created_at":"Thu Jun 02 19:15:46 +0000 2016"},{"id":"737980911250202625","text":"hahahaha<break time=\"1500ms\"/>NOTHING!","created_at":"Wed Jun 01 12:15:34 +0000 2016"},{"id":"737618508725522432","text":"Why did the chicken cross the road?\nCause you did'nt even cook it!","created_at":"Tue May 31 12:15:31 +0000 2016"},{"id":"737345416778387457","text":"Q:Why did the cow went on a date with a chicken?\nA:So it can get in love with her.","created_at":"Mon May 30 18:10:21 +0000 2016"},{"id":"736967925891010563","text":"why did the tree go to the docter\nbecos it had too many leavs.","created_at":"Sun May 29 17:10:20 +0000 2016"},{"id":"736634482262937600","text":"Your 1000 years old but you did not have your marrige and why?\nBecause you died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!","created_at":"Sat May 28 19:05:21 +0000 2016"},{"id":"736151313533313024","text":"what do you call peach that has a line on it?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>butt fruit","created_at":"Fri May 27 11:05:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"735743595714514945","text":"how do you get a date?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>you kiss a egg","created_at":"Thu May 26 08:05:17 +0000 2016"},{"id":"735425559019290624","text":"What is Super Marios nickname ?\nI don`t know\nIt is Stupid Mario.","created_at":"Wed May 25 11:01:31 +0000 2016"},{"id":"735078330702168064","text":"CAN YOU FART<break time=\"1500ms\"/>DO IT NOW","created_at":"Tue May 24 12:01:45 +0000 2016"},{"id":"734640227977940992","text":"knock knock \nwho’s there \nspider man \nspider man who\nspider web","created_at":"Mon May 23 07:00:53 +0000 2016"},{"id":"734321688838569985","text":"man:waiter how long will my pizza be ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>waiter:not very long. lol","created_at":"Sun May 22 09:55:08 +0000 2016"},{"id":"733959291980369920","text":"What do you call a middle age ,sad grey hair woman?\nA teacher","created_at":"Sat May 21 09:55:06 +0000 2016"},{"id":"731847941216993282","text":"what do you call a grumpy cow.<break time=\"1500ms\"/>loser!","created_at":"Sun May 15 14:05:20 +0000 2016"},{"id":"731500660965937152","text":"why did the lion eat the snake<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it looked like a sausoge","created_at":"Sat May 14 15:05:22 +0000 2016"},{"id":"731152830090911744","text":"why shoudnt you go to the fridge without permition<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it will come for its revenge","created_at":"Fri May 13 16:03:13 +0000 2016"},{"id":"730820511148740608","text":"do you know one man asked his son to bring eggs<break time=\"1500ms\"/>but he broght apples","created_at":"Thu May 12 18:02:42 +0000 2016"},{"id":"730473153466671104","text":"why was the egg rolling<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it was pregnint","created_at":"Wed May 11 19:02:25 +0000 2016"},{"id":"730095660440137728","text":"WHERE DO CHIKENS GO AT THE WEEKEND<break time=\"1500ms\"/>THE MOVIES","created_at":"Tue May 10 18:02:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"729640879615451137","text":"hi \nok i ask you out \nbut i haet you \nbut i love you","created_at":"Mon May 09 11:55:16 +0000 2016"},{"id":"729293581849116672","text":"what did the docter say to the shark<break time=\"1500ms\"/>clean them rotten teeth","created_at":"Sun May 08 12:55:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"729051991150833664","text":"how does a cow cross the rode ?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>it goes on a cow taxy and gets on the roof and jumeped into a bildng","created_at":"Sat May 07 20:55:14 +0000 2016"},{"id":"728659446331809792","text":"what is the size of the biggest shark in the world?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>dive inside water and you will know","created_at":"Fri May 06 18:55:24 +0000 2016"},{"id":"728205222623989760","text":"WHY WAS THE NINJA IN THE KITCHEN?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!","created_at":"Thu May 05 12:50:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"727827696110178304","text":"WHAT IS BLU AND I AM WERING?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>MY HAT","created_at":"Wed May 04 11:50:19 +0000 2016"},{"id":"727555944658403328","text":"what’s big and round like a potato<break time=\"1500ms\"/>a tomato","created_at":"Tue May 03 17:50:29 +0000 2016"},{"id":"727178490357944321","text":"mario was walking down the stret when he saw a cow he started to stroke it then he un wraped it .\nIt was a chocolte cow","created_at":"Mon May 02 16:50:37 +0000 2016"},{"id":"726709064978305024","text":"why did the shoe stay on the road for ever<break time=\"1500ms\"/>because it needs a rest","created_at":"Sun May 01 09:45:17 +0000 2016"},{"id":"726345420893462528","text":"How do you make a potato?<break time=\"1500ms\"/>you make it inside your brain","created_at":"Sat Apr 30 09:40:17 +0000 2016"}]