diff --git a/gratipay/chomp/__init__.py b/gratipay/chomp/__init__.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..de9ad36528
--- /dev/null
+++ b/gratipay/chomp/__init__.py
@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+"""Process npm artifacts.
+
+The main function is exposed as a console script named `chomp` via setup.py.
+
+"""
+from __future__ import absolute_import, division, print_function, unicode_literals
+
+import argparse
+import sys
+
+import requests
+from gratipay.utils import markdown
+
+
+def from_npm(package):
+    """Given an npm package dict, return a dict of info and a list of emails.
+    """
+    out= {}
+    out['name'] = package['name']
+    out['description'] = package['description']
+    out['long_description'] = markdown.marky(package['readme'])
+    out['long_description_raw'] = package['readme']
+    out['long_description_type'] = 'x-text/marky-markdown'
+
+    emails = []
+    for key in ('authors', 'maintainers'):
+        for person in package.get(key, []):
+            if type(person) is dict:
+                email = person.get('email')
+                if email:
+                    emails.append(email)
+
+    return out, emails
+
+
+def process_catalog(catalog):
+    SQL = ''
+    return SQL
+
+
+def fetch_catalog():
+    r = requests.get('https://registry.npmjs.com/-/all')
+    r.raise_for_status()
+    return r.json()
+
+
+def update_database(SQL):
+    pass
+
+
+def parse_args(argv):
+    p = argparse.ArgumentParser()
+    p.add_argument( 'if_modified_since'
+                  , help='a number of minutes in the past, past which we need new updates'
+                   )
+    return p.parse_args(argv)
+
+
+def main(argv=sys.argv):
+    ims = parse_args(argv[1:]).if_modified_since
+    process_catalog(fetch_catalog(), ims)
diff --git a/gratipay/models/package.py b/gratipay/models/package.py
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..af5b0be893
--- /dev/null
+++ b/gratipay/models/package.py
@@ -0,0 +1,12 @@
+from __future__ import absolute_import, division, print_function, unicode_literals
+
+from postgres import orm
+
+
+class Package(orm.Model):
+    typ_name = 'packages';
+
+    @classmethod
+    def from_platform_and_name(cls, platform, name):
+        return cls.db.one("SELECT packages.*::packages from packages where "
+                          "platform=%s and name=%s;", (platform, name,))
diff --git a/gratipay/utils/markdown.py b/gratipay/utils/markdown.py
index a1826f93e6..9adfa05c2b 100644
--- a/gratipay/utils/markdown.py
+++ b/gratipay/utils/markdown.py
@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 from markupsafe import Markup
 import misaka as m  # http://misaka.61924.nl/
+import subprocess
 
 def render(markdown):
     return Markup(m.html(
@@ -7,3 +8,6 @@ def render(markdown):
         extensions=m.EXT_AUTOLINK | m.EXT_STRIKETHROUGH | m.EXT_NO_INTRA_EMPHASIS,
         render_flags=m.HTML_SKIP_HTML | m.HTML_TOC | m.HTML_SMARTYPANTS | m.HTML_SAFELINK
     ))
+
+def marky(markdown):
+    return subprocess.call()
diff --git a/gratipay/wireup.py b/gratipay/wireup.py
index 8aa1dd220e..a64f9d2a8b 100644
--- a/gratipay/wireup.py
+++ b/gratipay/wireup.py
@@ -29,6 +29,7 @@
 from gratipay.elsewhere.openstreetmap import OpenStreetMap
 from gratipay.elsewhere.twitter import Twitter
 from gratipay.elsewhere.venmo import Venmo
+from gratipay.models.npm_package import Package
 from gratipay.models.account_elsewhere import AccountElsewhere
 from gratipay.models.community import Community
 from gratipay.models.country import Country
@@ -56,7 +57,8 @@ def db(env):
     maxconn = env.database_maxconn
     db = GratipayDB(dburl, maxconn=maxconn)
 
-    for model in (AccountElsewhere, Community, Country, ExchangeRoute, Participant, Team):
+    models = (AccountElsewhere, Community, Country, ExchangeRoute, Participant, Team, Package)
+    for model in models:
         db.register_model(model)
     gratipay.billing.payday.Payday.db = db
 
diff --git a/setup.py b/setup.py
index 888240d06d..e4615bd19f 100644
--- a/setup.py
+++ b/setup.py
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@
      , entry_points = { 'console_scripts'
                       : [ 'payday=gratipay.cli:payday'
                         , 'fake_data=gratipay.utils.fake_data:main'
+                        , 'chomp=gratipay.chomp:main'
                          ]
                        }
       )
diff --git a/sql/branch.sql b/sql/branch.sql
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..f1d643ab82
--- /dev/null
+++ b/sql/branch.sql
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+BEGIN;
+
+    CREATE TABLE package_managers
+    ( id        bigserial       PRIMARY KEY
+    , name      text            NOT NULL UNIQUE
+     );
+
+    CREATE TABLE packages
+    ( id                    bigserial                   PRIMARY KEY
+    , package_manager_id    bigint                      NOT NULL
+    , name                  text                        NOT NULL
+    , description           text                        NOT NULL DEFAULT ''
+    , long_description      text                        NOT NULL DEFAULT ''
+    , long_description_raw  text                        NOT NULL DEFAULT ''
+    , long_description_type text                        NOT NULL DEFAULT ''
+    , mtime                 timestamp with time zone    NOT NULL
+    , UNIQUE (package_manager_id, name)
+     );
+
+    CREATE TABLE package_emails
+    ( package_id    bigint  NOT NULL
+    , email         text    NOT NULL
+    , UNIQUE (package_id, email)
+     )
+
+END;