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Breaking Free & Releasing Into the Nothing: My first poetry book, available for purchase [here](http://amzn.com/B00FND4X0C)Latest Poems: Really Ready? | Wow | The Twenty Year Wound | Only Sky | Ocean Friend
###Really Ready?###
at times,
i'm ready to ask for love,
to be ushered into my life.
tell the universe,
i'm ready.
but fear begins to speak up,
with his interrogation of “what if”.
pestering questions.
incessant.
barbed.
prowling right for the open wound,
which still rests within my heart.
am i really ready,
to love again?
has enough time passed?
what if i get burned again?
what if these readiness feelings,
are the same as last year,
when i thought i was ready,
but in reality was not.
and wounded another heart,
which had begun to love me.
am i lovable?
do i reek of the disease of divorce?
am i toxic?
these questions never seem to cease.
which allows my friend loneliness,
to remain sleeping in my bed.
with its' icy arms wrapped tightly around me,
while it whispers in my panicky ear,
"go back to sleep".
Dave
August 2013
###Wow###
at 10:19 am,
july 11, 2013,
i emerge,
no longer married,
and officially divorced.
scripts were followed.
the process devoid of emotion.
cold.
regimented.
twenty minutes,
one judge's signature,
a 17 year relationship,
half of my life,
an 11 year marriage,
terminated.
wow.
unsure how to feel,
as a crisp new chapter begins.
in place of the several blurry ones,
which preceded.
i consider i should feel more.
yet i don't.
but "it's just another day",
isn't sufficient.
for the reverberation is immense,
thumping within my being,
like the rhythm of a drum,
which quakes my heart.
i refuse to wrap this up,
with a pretty little bow.
and place it on a shelf,
to show off to others.
nothing poignant to say,
no straightforward way to explain,
the vast echo on my life.
my next chapter begins.
a luminous blank page.
it smells good.
i put pen to paper,
and inscribe the initial entry:
hope
love
magic
and close the book.
gaze upon the forest,
with a peaceful smile.
rise.
begin to walk,
into an unfamiliar wood,
devoid of paths.
yet flooded with sunshine,
to light my way.
this is going to be good.
Dave
July 2013
###The Twenty Year Wound###
i shoulder my backpack.
loneliness weighing more than the books inside.
i navigate,
these unfamiliar hallways.
i enter the classroom.
unfamiliar faces fail to notice,
the new kid,
or the immense wraith of sadness,
which stalks behind me.
i seek out a desk.
collapse into the seat.
the loneliness and sadness,
begin to erode my soul.
the tears simmer to the surface.
i thrust them down with spite.
stuff them so far down inside,
they’ll remain there,
twenty years later,
just as raw,
just as painful.
i just want to go home.
i just want to move back to my old town.
i just want to die.
and disappear for a while,
to hide from the torment.
the ancient civilization lecture begins.
and my high school years commence,
on this building block of loneliness and desolation.
i will never recover,
from this event,
until twenty years later,
when i sit down,
and talk to the 13 year old boy,
who’s pain is still very real,
and who’s fears haunt this grown man today.
so i take his hand,
and lead him down these dreadful halls once more,
and i try to tell him,
what i wished someone had told him,
when he felt no one was listening,
and that nobody cared.
because i care now.
and it’s not too late,
to heal these wounds,
and give him the love,
he deserved and needed,
so we can all move forward,
hand in hand,
and face this world,
a little more brighter,
than we did yesterday.
because we’re together,
and we can begin to heal this wound which was left gaping,
for far too long.
June 2013
###Only Sky###
the plane pierces through the clouds.
enters a new world.
where the ground is wooly,
and above, only sky.
the sun is also rising.
my eyes seek out its’ illumination.
welcoming me.
into the world in the clouds.
the skyline of chicago,
resides in this world today.
given special permission,
to be uprooted,
and live in clouds for a spell.
peaceful and serene,
the city looks,
resting among the clouds,
with no unpleasant linear streets,
and dull colors of gray.
instead, it’s just the buildings,
who always reach for the sky.
and now they’ve found it.
entered this new world,
of clouds, sky and sun,
if only for a short time.
it finds the same tranquility,
that lodges in my heart,
to be among the sky again.
###Ocean Friend###
i run towards the ocean,
the magnitude of her presence,
pulls me,
acts as my compass.
the sight of her always makes me smile.
i find a spot in the sand,
sit down, and greet my old friend.
all five senses,
become activated,
which triggers,
me to stillness.
the ocean is tranquil.
an absence of significant waves.
in the months i’ve visited,
this is the calmest my friend has been.
a spark of insight,
illuminates in my mind.
i am also tranquil,
in a way i haven’t been for some time.
this realization,
the connecting of the dots,
between my tranquility,
and my ocean friend,
makes me smile.
my intuition beams,
and the setting sun seems to wink in my direction.
i close my eyes.
breathe deeply.
and the ocean begins to speak to me,
“you have arrived.
we welcome you now.
in your calm state,
we see you,
acknowledge the work you’ve done.
we see you.
“we were here when times were tough.
we mirrored your anger,
your fear,
your shame,
your loneliness,
with our tumultuous waves,
we were with you.
“and we are with you now.
we reflect what we see in you.
peace,
tranquility.”
and with the setting sun,
the extinguishing of the light of the day.
i acknowledge,
my light does not fade away,
it remains inside,
shining out for all to see.
but today it shines brighter,
because i’m with my ocean friend,
and we are a witness to each other,
and the peace that resides within our hearts.