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cleaned-script-subject.txt
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Asgardian PA: This is the Asgardian refugee vessel Statesman. We are under assault, I repeat, we are under assault - The engines are dead, life support failing. Requesting aid from any vessel within range. We are 22 jump points out of Asgard. Our crew is made up of Asgardian families, we have very few soldiers here. This is not a warcraft. I repeat, this is not a warcraft!
Ebony Maw: Hear me, and rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan... You may think this is suffering... No. it is salvation. Universal scales tip toward balance because of your sacrifice. Smile... For even in death, you have become Children of Thanos.
Thanos: I know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right... yet to fail, nonetheless. It's frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here. Or should I say... I AM.
Thor: You talk too much.
Thanos: The Tesseract, or your brother's head. I assume you have a preference.
Loki: Oh, I do. Kill away!
Loki: ALL RIGHT, STOP!
Thor: We don't have the Tesseract. It was destroyed on Asgard.
Thor: You really are the worst brother.
Loki: I assure you, brother... the sun will shine on us again.
Thanos: Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian.
Loki: Well, for one thing, I'm not Asgardian. And for another... We have a Hulk.
Ebony Maw: Let him have his fun.
Heimdall: Allfathers… let the dark magic flow through me one last... time.
Thanos: That was a mistake.
Thor: NO!!! You're going to die for that!
Ebony Maw: Shhh.
Ebony Maw: My humble personage… bows before your grandeur. No other being has ever had the might, nay the nobility, to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones. The universe lies within your grasp.
Thanos: There are two more Stones on Earth. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan.
Proxima Midnight: Father, we will not fail you.
Loki: If I might interject… If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena.
Thanos: If you consider failure experience.
Loki: I consider experience, experience. Almighty Thanos, I... Loki... Prince of Asgard... Odinson... The rightful King of Jotunheim... God of Mischief... do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity.
Thanos: "Undying." You should choose your words more carefully.
Loki: You will... never be... a god.
Thanos: No resurrections this time.
Thor: No… Loki…
Doctor Strange: Seriously? You don't have any money?
Wong: Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual.
Doctor Strange: I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham on rye.
Wong: Oh, wait, wait, wait, I think I have 200.
Doctor Strange: Dollars?
Wong: Rupees.
Doctor Strange: Which is?
Wong: Uh, buck and a half.
Doctor Strange: What do you want?
Wong: I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt.
Bruce Banner: Thanos is coming. He's coming...
Doctor Strange: Who?
Tony Stark: Slow down, slow down. I'm totally not kidding.
Pepper Potts: You're totally rambling.
Tony Stark: No, I'm not.
Pepper Potts: Lost me.
Tony Stark: Look, you know how you're having a dream, and in the dream you gotta pee?
Pepper Potts: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Okay, and then you're like, "Oh my god, there's no bathroom, what am I gonna do?" "Oh! Someone's watching." "I'm gonna go in my pants."
Pepper Potts: Right. And then you wake up, and in real life you actually have to pee.
Tony Stark: Yes.
Pepper Potts: Yeah. Everybody has that.
Tony Stark: Right! That's the point I'm trying to make. Apropos of that, last night, I dreamt, we had a kid. So real. We named him after your eccentric uncle. Uh, what was his name?
Pepper Potts: Right.
Tony Stark: Morgan! Morgan.
Pepper Potts: So you woke up, and thought that we were...
Tony Stark: Expecting.
Pepper Potts: Yeah.
Tony Stark: Yes?
Pepper Potts: No.
Tony Stark: I had a dream about it. It was so real.
Pepper Potts: If you wanted to have a kid, you wouldn't have done that.
Tony Stark: I'm glad you brought this up, 'cause it's nothing. It's just a housing unit for nano particles.
Pepper Potts: It's not helping your case, OK?
Tony Stark: No, no, it's an attachment, it's not a-
Pepper Potts: You don't need that.
Tony Stark: I know. I had the surgery. I'm just trying to protect us. The future usses, and that's it. Just in case there's a monster in the closet, instead of, you know...
Pepper Potts: Shirts?
Tony Stark: You know me so well. You finish all my sentences.
Pepper Potts: You should have shirts in your closet.
Tony Stark: Yeah. You know what there should be? No more surprises. We're gonna have a nice dinner tonight. Show off this Harry Win-stone. Right? And we should have no more surprises. Ever. I should promise you.
Pepper Potts: Yes.
Tony Stark: I will.
Doctor Strange: Tony Stark, I'm Doctor Stephen Strange. I need you to come with me. Oh, uh, congratulations on the wedding, by the way.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, you giving out tickets or something?
Doctor Strange: We need your help. Look, it's not overselling to say that the fate of the universe is at stake.
Tony Stark: And who's "we"?
Bruce Banner: Hey, Tony.
Tony Stark: Bruce.
Bruce Banner: Pepper.
Pepper Potts: Hi.
Tony Stark: You okay?
Wong: From the dawn of the universe, there was nothing. Then, boom! The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals, hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence.
Doctor Strange: Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind. And Time.
Tony Stark: Tell me his name again.
Bruce Banner: Thanos. He's a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki. The attack on New York. That's him.
Tony Stark: This is it... What's our timeline?
Bruce Banner: No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones, that already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands, on all six Stones, Tony...
Doctor Strange: He can destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of.
Tony Stark: Did you seriously just say "hitherto undreamt of"?
Doctor Strange: Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?
Tony Stark: Is that what this is...?
Tony Stark: I'm going to allow that. If Thanos needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?
Doctor Strange: No can do.
Wong: We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone. With our lives.
Tony Stark: And I swore off dairy, but then, Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me, so...
Doctor Strange: Stark Raving Hazelnuts.
Tony Stark: It's not bad.
Doctor Strange: A bit chalky.
Wong: "A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge" is our favorite.
Bruce Banner: That's a thing?
Tony Stark: Whatever. Point is: things change.
Doctor Strange: Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change. This Stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos.
Tony Stark: And still conversely, it may also be his best chance against us.
Doctor Strange: Well, if we don't do our jobs.
Tony Stark: What is your job exactly, besides making balloon animals?
Doctor Strange: Protecting your reality, douchebag.
Bruce Banner: Okay, guys, could we table this discussion right now? The fact is that we have this Stone. We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone, and we have to find him now.
Tony Stark: Yeah, that's the... thing.
Bruce Banner: What do you mean?
Tony Stark: Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder. He's offline.
Bruce Banner: What? Tony, you lost another super bot?
Tony Stark: I didn't lose him. He's more than that. He's evolving.
Doctor Strange: Who could find Vision, then?
Tony Stark: Shit. Probably Steve Rogers.
Doctor Strange: Oh, great.
Tony Stark: Maybe. But...
Bruce Banner: Call him.
Tony Stark: It's not that easy. God, we haven't caught up in a spell, have we?
Bruce Banner: No.
Tony Stark: The Avengers broke up. We're toast.
Bruce Banner: Broke up? Like a band? Like The Beatles?
Tony Stark: Cap and I fell out hard. We're not on speaking terms.
Bruce Banner: Tony, listen to me. Thor's gone. Thanos is coming. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not.
Tony Stark: Say, Doc, you wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would you?
Doctor Strange: Not at the moment, no.
Tony Stark: You okay?
Tony Stark: Help him! Wong, Doc.
Bruce Banner: Go! Got it!
Tony Stark: F.R.I.D.A.Y., what am I looking at?
F.R.I.D.A.Y.: Not sure, I'm working on it.
Tony Stark: Hey! You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!
Doctor Strange: Might wanna use it.
Peter Parker: Ned, hey. I need you to cause a distraction.
Ned Leeds: Holy shit! We're all gonna die! There's a spaceship!
Your Bus Driver, Stan Lee: What's the matter with you kids? You've never seen a spaceship before?
Tony Stark: F.R.I.D.A.Y., evac anyone south of 43rd Street, notify first responders.
F.R.I.D.A.Y.: Will do.
Ebony Maw: Hear me, and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos. Be thankful, that your meaningless lives are now contributing to...
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, Earth is closed today. You better pack it up and get outta here.
Ebony Maw: Stonekeeper... Does this chattering animal speak for you?
Doctor Strange: Certainly not. I speak for myself. But you’re trespassing in this city and on this planet.
Tony Stark: It means get lost, Squidward!
Ebony Maw: He exhausts me.
Cull Obsidian:
Ebony Maw: Bring me the Stone.
Cull Obsidian:
Tony Stark: Banner, you want a piece?
Bruce Banner: No, not really, but when do I ever get what I want?
Tony Stark: That's right.
Tony Stark: Been a while. Good to have you, buddy.
Bruce Banner: I just... I need to concentrate here for one second. Come on, come on, man.
Tony Stark: Where's your guy?
Bruce Banner: I don't know. We've sort been havin' a thing.
Tony Stark: There's no time for a thing.
Bruce Banner: I know.
Tony Stark: That's the thing right there. Let's go.
Tony Stark: Dude, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards.
Bruce Banner: Tony, I'm sorry. Either I can't or he won't-
Tony Stark: It's okay. Hey, stand down. Keep an eye on him. Thank you.
Wong: I have him.
Bruce Banner: Damn it.
Bruce Banner: Where'd that come from?
Tony Stark: It's nano-tech. You like it? A little somet-
Doctor Strange: Dr. Banner, if the rest of your green friend won't be joining us...
Tony Stark: Gotta get that stone outta here, now.
Doctor Strange: It stays with me.
Tony Stark: Exactly. Bye.
Bruce Banner: Tony, you okay? How we doing? Good? bad?
Tony Stark: Really, really good. Really good. Do you plan on helping out?
Bruce Banner: I'm trying. He won't come out.
Tony Stark: Hammer.
Bruce Banner: Come on, Hulk. What are you doing to me? Come out! Come out! Come out!
Hulk: Nooooooo!
Bruce Banner: What do you mean, "no"?!
Peter Parker: Hey, man. What's up, Mr. Stark?
Tony Stark: Kid, where'd you come from?
Peter Parker: Field trip to MoMA.
Peter Parker: What is this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?
Tony Stark: He's from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.
Ebony Maw: Your powers are quaint. You must be popular with children.
Doctor Strange: It's a simple spell but quite unbreakable.
Ebony Maw: Then I'll take it off your corpse.
Doctor Strange: You'll find... removing a dead man's spell... troublesome.
Ebony Maw: You'll only wish you were dead. NO!
Tony Stark: Kid, that's the wizard. Get on it.
Peter Parker: On it!
Peter Parker: Not cool!
Peter Parker: Uhh, Mr. Stark? I'm being beamed up!
Tony Stark: Hang on, kid.
Wong, you're invited to my wedding. Give me a little juice, F.R.I.D.A.Y.
Tony Stark: Unlock 17-A. Pete, you gotta let go. I'm gonna catch you.
Peter Parker: But you said save the wizard! I can't breathe!
Tony Stark: You're too high up. You're running out of air.
Peter Parker: Yeah! That makes sense.
Peter Parker: Mr. Stark, it smells like a new car in here!
Tony Stark: Happy trails, kid. F.R.I.D.A.Y, send him home.
F.R.I.D.A.Y: Yep.
Peter Parker: OH, COME ON!
F.R.I.D.A.Y: Boss, incoming call from Miss Potts.
Pepper Potts: Tony? Oh, my God. Are you all right? What's going on?
Tony Stark: Yeah, I'm fine. I just think we might have to push our 8:30 res.
Pepper Potts: Why?
Tony Stark: Just 'cause I'll... probably not make it back for a while.
Pepper Potts: Tell me you're not on that ship.
Tony Stark: Yeah.
Pepper Potts: God, no. Please tell me you're not on that ship.
Tony Stark: Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I don't know what to say.
Pepper Potts: Come back here, Tony. I swear to God…
Tony Stark: Pep…
Pepper Potts: Come back here right now! Come back!
F.R.I.D.A.Y: Boss, we're losing her. I'm going, too…
Peter Parker: Oh my God! I should have stayed on the bus...
Bruce Banner: Where you going?
Wong: The Time Stone's been taken. The Sanctum remains unguarded. What will you do?
Bruce Banner: I'm gonna make a call.
Peter Quill: Sing it, Drax!
Rocket: Why are we doing this again?
Gamora: It's a distress signal, Rocket. Someone could be dying.
Rocket: I get that, but why are we doing it?
Peter Quill: 'Cause we're nice. And maybe whoever it is will give us a little cheddar cheese for our help.
Gamora: Which isn't the point.
Peter Quill: Which isn't the point... I mean… If he doesn't pony up…
Drax: We'll take his ship.
Rocket: Exactly!
Peter Quill: B-b-b-bingo!
Mantis: We are arriving.
Peter Quill: All right, Guardians. Don't forget, this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces. Groot, put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again. Groot.
Groot: I am Groot!
Peter Quill: Whoa!
Rocket: Language!
Gamora: Hey!
Drax: Wow.
Peter Quill: You got some acorns on you, kid.
Rocket: Ever since you got a little sap, you're a total d-hole. Keep it up, and I'm gonna smash that thing to pieces!
Mantis: What happened?
Rocket: Looks like we're not getting paid.
Rocket: Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!
Peter Quill: How the hell is this dude still alive?
Drax: He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... This is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
Peter Quill: I'm muscular.
Rocket: Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat.
Peter Quill: Yeah, right.
Drax: It's true. You have gained a little weight…
Peter Quill: What? Gamora, do you think I'm…
Mantis: He is anxious. Angry. He feels tremendous loss and guilt.
Drax: It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel.
Peter Quill: Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells.
Rocket: You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?
Gamora: It's like his muscles are made of Cotati metal fibers.
Peter Quill: Stop massaging his muscles. Wake him up.
Mantis: Wake.
Thor: Who the hell are you guys?
Gamora: The entire time I knew Thanos, he only ever had one goal: To bring balance to the Universe by wiping out half of all life. He used to kill people planet by planet, massacre by massacre...
Drax: Including my own.
Gamora: If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he can do it with the snap of his fingers, like this.
Thor: You seem to know a great deal about Thanos.
Drax: Gamora... is the daughter of Thanos.
Thor: Your father killed my brother.
Peter Quill: Oh, boy. Stepfather. Technically, she hates him as much as you do.
Thor: Families can be tough. Before my father died, he told me I had a half-sister...that he imprisoned in Hel. Then she returned home, and stabbed me in the eye, so... I had to kill her. It's life, isn't it, I guess. Goes round and round and... I feel your pain.
Peter Quill: And I feel your pain, as well. I mean it's not a competition, but I've been through a lot. My father killed my mother, then I had to kill my father. And that was hard. Probably even harder than having to kill a sister. Plus, I, came out of it with both of my eyes-"
Thor: I need a hammer, not a spoon… How do I open this thing? Is there some sort of a four-digit code maybe… Maybe a birth date or something…
Peter Quill: What are you doing?
Thor: Taking your pod.
Peter Quill: No, you're not! You'll not, be taking our pod today, sir.
Rocket: Quill. Are you making your voice deeper?
Peter Quill: No.
Drax: You are. You're imitating the god-man. It's weird.
Peter Quill: No I'm not.
Mantis: He just did it again!
Peter Quill: This is my voice!
Thor: Are you mocking me?
Peter Quill: Are you mocking me?
Thor: Stop it. You did it again.
Peter Quill: He's trying to copy me.
Thor: Would you stop doing that? He's doing it first.
Gamora: Enough! We need to stop Thanos. Which means we need to find out where he's going next.
Thor: Knowhere.
Mantis: He must be going somewhere.
Peter Quill: No. Knowhere? It's a place. We've been there. It sucks. Excuse me, that's our food.
Thor: Not anymore.
Gamora: Thor… Why would he go to Knowhere?
Thor: Because for years, the Reality Stone has been safely stored, there with a man we call the Collector.
Peter Quill: If it's with the Collector, then it's not safe. Only an idiot would give that man a stone.
Thor: Or a genius.
Gamora: How do you know he's not going for one of the other Stones?
Thor: There's six stones out there. Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week, when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth. They're with the Avengers.
Peter Quill: The Avengers?
Thor: They're Earth's Mightiest Heroes.
Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?
Thor: He may be on the team. I don't know. Haven't been there in a while. As for the Soul Stone, well, no one's ever seen that. No one even knows where it is. Therefore, Thanos can't get it. Therefore, he's going to Knowhere. Hence, he'll be getting the Reality Stone. You're welcome.
Gamora: Then we have to go to Knowhere now.
Thor: Wrong! Where we have to go, is Nivadellir.
Drax: That's a made up word.
Thor: All words are made up.
Rocket: Hold up, Nidavellir is real? Seriously? I mean, that place is a legend. They make the most powerful, horrific weapons to ever torment the Universe. I would very much like to go there, please.
Thor: The rabbit is correct, and clearly the smartest among you.
Rocket: Rabbit?
Thor: Only Eitri the dwarf king can make me the weapon I need. I assume you're the captain, sir?
Rocket: You're very perceptive.
Thor: You seem like a noble leader. Will you join me on my quest to Nidavellir?
Rocket: Lemme just ask the captain. Oh, wait a second, it's me! Yeah, I'll go.
Thor: Wonderful.
Peter Quill: Except for that I'm the captain.
Thor: Quiet!
Peter Quill: That's my backpack.
Rocket: Go sit down.
Peter Quill: Look, this is my ship. And I'm not goin' to… Wait, what kind of weapon are we talking about here?
Thor: The Thanos killing kind.
Peter Quill: Don't you think that we should all have a weapon like that?
Thor: No. You simply lack the strength to wield them. Your bodies will crumble as your minds collapse into the madness.
Rocket: Is it weird that I wanna do it even more now?
Thor: A little bit. Yeah.
Gamora: If we don't go to Knowhere and Thanos retrieves another stone, he'll be too powerful to stop.
Thor: He already is.
Rocket: I got it figured out. We got two ships, and a large assortment of morons. So me and Groot will go with the pirate-angel here, and the morons will go to Knowhere to try and stop Thanos. Cool? Cool.
Thor: So cool.
Peter Quill: For the record… I know that you're only going with him because it's where Thanos isn't.
Rocket: You know, Quill, you shouldn't talk that way to your captain, Quill. Come on, Groot. Put that game down, you'll rot your brain.
Thor: I bid you farewell and good luck, morons. Bye.
Vision:
Wanda Maximoff: Vis? Is it the stone again?
Vision: It's as if it's speaking to me.
Wanda Maximoff: What does it say?
Vision: I don't... I don't know. But something...
Vision: Tell me what you feel.
Wanda Maximoff: I just feel you.
Wanda Maximoff: So there's a 10 AM to Glasgow to give us more time together before you went back.
Vision: What if I miss that train?
Wanda Maximoff: There is an 11.
Vision: What if I missed all the trains? What if this time, I didn't go back?
Wanda Maximoff: You gave Stark your word.
Vision: I'd rather give it to you.
Wanda Maximoff: There are people who are expecting me too, you know. We both made promises.
Vision: Not to each other. Wanda… For two years, we've stolen these moments, trying to see if this could work. And... I don't know. You know what, I'm just gonna speak for myself. - I, I... I think...
Wanda Maximoff: It works.
Vision: It works.
Vision: Then stay. Stay with me.
Vision: Or not. If I'm overstepping…
Wanda Maximoff: What are they?
Vision: What the stone was warning me about. I have to go.
Wanda Maximoff: No, Vision. Vision, if that's true… Then maybe going isn't the best idea.
Vision: Wanda, I…
Wanda Maximoff: Vision!
Vision: The blade. It stopped me from phasing.
Wanda Maximoff: Is that even possible?
Vision: It isn't supposed to be. My systems are failing. I'm beginning to think... we should have stayed in bed.
Wanda Maximoff: Vis!
Corvus Glaive: Give up the Stone, and she lives.
Wanda Maximoff: Hands off.
Wanda Maximoff: Come on. Come on. Come on, you gotta get up. You gotta get up. Come on. Hey. Hey. We have to go.
Vision: Please. Please leave.
Wanda Maximoff: You asked me to stay... I'm staying.
Vision: Please.
Wanda Maximoff: Get up.
Proxima Midnight: Get up.
Corvus Glaive: I can't.
Natasha Romanoff: We don't wanna kill you. But we will.
Proxima Midnight: You'll never get the chance again.
Sam Wilson: Can you stand?
Vision: Thank you, Captain.
Steve Rogers: Let's get you on the jet.
Natasha Romanoff: I thought we had a deal. Stay close, check in. Don't take any chances.
Wanda Maximoff: I'm sorry. We just wanted time.
Sam Wilson: Where to, Cap?
Steve Rogers: Home.
Gamora's Mother: Shhh. We'll be safe. We'll be safe.
Child of Thanos:
Ebony Maw: Zehobereians…
Young Gamora: Mother! Where's my mother?!
Ebony Maw: Choose a side, or die.
Young Gamora: Mother!
Ebony Maw: One side is a revelation. The other, an honor known only to a few.
Thanos: What's wrong, little one?
Young Gamora: My mother. Where is my mother?
Thanos: What's your name?
Young Gamora: Gamora.
Thanos: You're quite the fighter, Gamora. Come. Let me help you. Look. Pretty, isn't it? Perfectly balanced. As all things should be. Too much to one side, or the other… Here. You try.
Ebony Maw: Now go in peace, and meet your Maker.
Thanos: Concentrate. There! You've got it.
Peter Quill: Gamora. Do you know if these grenades are the "blow off your junk" kind or the gas kind? 'Cause I was thinking I might hang a couple on my belt right here. But I don't want to-
Gamora: I need to ask a favor.
Peter Quill: Yeah, sure.
Gamora: One way or another, the path that we're on leads to Thanos.
Peter Quill: Which is what the grenades are for. I'm sorry. What's the favor?
Gamora: If things go wrong… If Thanos gets me… I want you to promise me… you'll kill me.
Peter Quill: What?
Gamora: I know something he doesn't. If he finds out… The entire Universe could be at risk.
Peter Quill: What do you know?
Gamora: If I tell you, you'd know, too.
Peter Quill: If it's so important, shouldn't I?
Gamora: Only if you wanna die.